Do writers write all day?

It is easier said than done. So many things go on at the back of my mind that I get confused and tensed – what to do and what not. Later, when am in a more peaceful frame of mind, I understand that no action was needed at that time. But when I get into that mode of ‘everything needs to be done now’, I don’t achieve much. It’s just wasting a lot of time in the end.

For instance, I sit to write and then think – let me warm up with a round of Solitaire. Then it continues till I win a game. If I win easily, I go for a complex one. If I lose a complex one, I want to play till I win. Suddenly, I realize I haven’t written for half a day. I stop the game and open the word document. But there goes a beep on my mobile. I find a promotional message from some retail store. I delete the message. But before going back to my word document, I find my fingers still glued to the phone. I click whatsapp even though my mind says NO. I find hoards of group messages. I manage to ignore them but the moment I am about to exit, I find some personal messages. I have no option but to reply. So, at least twenty more minutes gone wishing Happy Dhanteras and Happy Diwali to folks I haven’t met for years nor would meet for the next few decades.

When I feel my virtual social life is almost in my control, the phone rings and I end up talking to my mother or my best friend for another fifteen minutes. ‘That’s it!’ I try to discipline myself. But then my hand is still gripping the phone. I give in to the ‘one last time’ desire to open Facebook. Ah – there are two likes on my profile photo. But I uploaded it a month back. Let me see who liked it now. Ah XYZ aunty – so sweet. This leads to scrolling down news feed and going through hundreds of updates from friends. Then there are some friends whose profile pictures or status updates you are duty-bound to like. I mechanically go and like those. Finally, am able to get over the trap of social networking. Mobile battery says ‘critically low’. I plug the cell on to the charger.

Am almost back to my word document when I realize I didn’t check my email. I go back to the mobile- too lazy to connect Internet through my laptop. Nothing spectacular happens on email. So I move to Linked In and then Twitter. I thank god silently that I am not on Pinterest or Instagram. I sign out of the last three social sites when I have a strong urge to take a quick look at my blog- like a hunger pang. I go there and don’t find anything new. Obviously because I haven’t written anything new yet!

I scroll here and there and then visit the other blogs I am following. Nothing new there also – because this may be the nineteenth time I am looking at those today! Oh-I am getting a headache. I leave them all, lock the phone and put it on the charger. I feel so tired. Let me close my eyes for two minutes. Or better let me get myself a cup of tea. I get up and make some coffee instead. I come back to my seat. Err… so where was I? Since I have taken a break, let me play a quick round of Solitaire before I move to my word document. It will be a good warm up before I start writing.

And you know what happens next :p

Just write

When you want to write, you should just write. Sometimes the best of ideas invade your brain when you are not thinking – just writing. It is essential to give vent to those feelings which are nameless and have stayed bottled up in your heart for months. You don’t know what to do with them and yet cannot dispose them off. Why? Is it because they or the people whose entry in your life accumulated those feelings still refuse to leave your heart even though they are no longer in your life? That’s tricky. I came across a wonderful quote this morning. It said- ‘One morning I woke up and decided that I don’t want to feel like this anymore, ever again. So I changed it.’ Simple, candid and deep. 

Writing is great to get rid of those 'don't want to feel like this anymore' kind of thoughts. It is so easy and comforting to write to myself because I don’t have to worry about people reading and commenting about how good or bad the write-up it is. Nobody is judging you then nor discussing if the flow of events in the article is correct or the content structure is consistent. That freedom means the world to a writer! In fact, these moments of madness or carefree writing help the structured or more serious writing to develop in your mind - the kind that can be refined and shared with a larger audience. When uploading content to a blog also- edits become important even though I think – this one should be posted as is.

So, writing to myself is the best part of writing! It just lets me be me and stay happy, smiling at the notepad at my desk or the empty word document on my laptop screen. Total bliss. 
Write more, think less while random writing. Give in to your writing urges. Just write – not for others, not to make money, not to be famous, nor for any other reason. Write so that you feel like writing more. Every written word does not need to be published. Write so that you fall in love with the writer in you all over again. Write because you love writing more than anything in this world. Write because you need to spoil that wicked little brain of yours every now and then. Love yourself. Write uninhibited.