Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Friend today.. gone tomorrow?

In our day-to-day life, we meet so many people! Some perfect strangers, who stay that way all our lives and that doesn't affect us a wee bit. Some come into our lives and welcome us into theirs and a new bond is born. Simple friendships, naughty friendships, twisted friendships, dramatic friendships, formal friendships, soul-mate friendships, sibling friendships.. the list is endless.

I had read somewhere few years back that some people come into your life for a season, some for a reason, and some.. to stay with you forever. It is those 'never-ending' bonds that are effortless, bring you the most happiness and cause you endless pain at the same time. You have the best of times and the worst of fights with this lot.

But sometimes, the fights grow serious and the friendship is over before you know. Perhaps the friend came into your life for a reason. They left, without a goodbye.

Often we think, this happens only in love relationships. But what is in love, if their is no friendship there? Even if friends fall apart, they don't stop loving each other even after the worst of 'unfriendly exchanges'.

I believe that we take time to make friends. There can be many acquaintances, but it takes time before you call someone a friend. And so, if a 'frienship' gets dissolved all of a sudden, you would need time to 'let it go'.

It may seem strange, but at times, even years after you think you have forgotten a friend/buried a friendship-- your thoughts keep floating to that person every now and then. And most amazingly, while doing the most mundane of things in life-- taking a walk, sipping coffee, working on the computer, eating your favorite dish, visiting a particular place, listening to a song, reading a book, laughing over a joke.... I can go on and on.

You feel a smile extendig on your lips unawares.. and at times you may end up laughing too, all by yourself, reminiscing a moment. At other times, the smile is interrupted by a careless tear that manages to duck the oblivious you and speedily trickles down your cheek right down to kiss your extended smile. You close your eyes and smile again :).

Only a friend you have loved deeply and a friendship you savour long after it is no more can give you this feeling.

Similarly, when you lose someone dear to you unexpectedly to God, you have this whole range of emotions.. bottled. They build up.. and suddenly one fine day when, may be, you are munching a chocolate at lesisure, it hits you! No connection, no association-- but you suddenly want to share the chocolate with your dad, who could probably nibble only a small piece because of his diabetes. But you still want him to take a bite at that time and there is an unprecedented arrival of complex emotions, resulting in --well, tears. That is perhaps the worst kind of feeling. You can only seek solace thinking of the fact they your loved one is resting in peace with God.

Losing a friend over a fight, ego clash or misunderstandings often leaves us 'blank'. No matter how much you cry, it doesn't come back to you. That doesn't mean, it was never yours. It always belonged to you-- the friendship was always yours.

Just that the friend was not for keeps.

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