Twinge

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down!

Whoever said that, said that well.

Life would be simpler if pain pretended to be happiness for a change and subsided as fast as it grew. It is always happiness that ends abruptly, never pain. It lingers, it grows, it feeds on whatever sanity is left in the mind, and never has any plans to leave. Pain is almost like money plant-- you just need to get one branch of it, plant it in a flower pot, and leave it by the window. It will get creepy and multiply in no time filling the entire free space on your window sil. Just the way pain grips your heart, your mind, and then your entire being.

Simple joys of life. Similarly simple pains of life. Life would be much more livable that way.

Abstract thoughts + convoluted feelings = Rubik's Cube. Keep at it till you figure out a way to solve it.

But, whatever the pain, it can never outwit happiness. May god bless and keep showering happiness on all those we care for. That's all that matters.

Solitude of Protected Wilderness

Who treads there?

Who ventures down the forbidden bridle-path

winding thro' thickets in the dense backwoods?

Time and again, memories traverse--

(Mind) reminisces Oak-Cedar-Rhododendron

At times, the fiery red flames of Sal-Simul-Palash

flashing in the lush woodland yellow and green.

And peeps through mangrove forests Kend and Garan

standing high on briny water and mud,

Or, ambles down the beach dunes, gazing at Jhau-Cashew-Casuarina

and Prospis Juliflora in desert sand

thorny bushes, fallen leaves here and there

wild grass-flower dandelion.

The dabbling mind meanders again--

Recalls the ivory spring-water rustling

on the pebbles-gravels-rockbed now and then.

Who thou explore?

Proceed no more; ruffle not the memoirs

Let the mahua-sozzled mindset remain ever

In tranquil solitude of protected wilderness. 

(My translated poem published in the book titled: World Poetry Festival 2011.

Translated from the original in Bangla written by Rathin Ghosh.)



Silent Confessions

 

I hold on to you, eyes closed, as we fly high,

You don't tilt towards me, nor pull me closer to you

But that is not important

As long as I know, you want me to hold on to you.

I face a stumble; I fall, I cry,

You don't console me or try to make things better

But that is not important

As long as I know, you want to me to come out stronger.

I send you notes and messages,

You read them alright, but do not respond

But that is not important

As long as I know, somewhere...we share a bond.

I look into your eyes

But I do not see myself in them anymore

It hurts a wee bit, but that is not important

As long as I know, by your side, you have some other strong oar.

I have my own bindings

And you may have yours going strong,

But that is not important

As long as I know, my commitment to this emotion is lifelong.

Love Lasts Forever

I was pretty enamored by Shah Rukh Khan when he gave his funda on love at 'Coffee With Karan' a couple of weeks back. What he said in Hindi translates into something like this: 'If there is love, you don't need to say it; And if there is a need to say it, there is no love'.

That is some confidence, I say!

"Love is a moment that grows into a lifetime of joy". I had read this quote years ago and it lingers in my mind even today. It may sound cliched, but love actually makes the world go round. When we find love, we realize how beautiful life is. And when someone dwells on our mind for a little too long, it is a 'love-ly' feeling.

I feel the 'silver screen' plays a vital role in shaping the way we perceive and interprete love. We don't follow love stories in movies verbatim. But in some funny way or the other, we tend to draw similarities in our real life from a character in reel-life. At times, movies inspire and even influence the love in our lives.

I have been quite moved by woman protagonists in several love stories as depicted in movies. I am not a great follower of English movies, but have enjoyed the few that I have watched. And when it comes to Bollywood, I never ceaze to get amazed by the portrayals on screen.

Based on movies watched recently or in the recent past, the following are my top 5 protagonists in the realm of interpretation of love. These screen portrayals have left an indelible impression on my mind, in terms of characterisation and the treatment of love in the narration.

1. Sofia in Guzaarish
This is my current favorite. Aishwarya Rai beautifully enacts her part as Sofia and brings the character alive. Her portrayal of love that is restrained, yet knows no boundaries is commendable. Sofia speaks through her eyes and her main motto in life is to ensure the person she is in love with is happy. Regardless of her marital status or her economic condition, she loves. There may not be any hope, but she still loves with all her heart. She defies society, disregards destiny and stays with her beau for as long as she can. But never from her behavior or her attitude towards Ethan does she drop any hints of her fondness for him. This love is the toughest but has immense depth.

The strength of her character and her relentless passion to ensure the person she loves is happy--- that makes Sofia a winner.

2. Jamie Sullivan in A Walk to Remember
I still don't know whether I like the movie more or the book. Jamie (Mandy Moore) is a religious young school girl. She is a plain Jane and likes to see the whole world happy around her. When Jamie finds love, she accepts it as just another happening in her life. For Jamie, love is when you care for the other person. So, when her beau Landon apologizes to her for being rude and asks what he can do to make up, she innocently asks him to help her collect funds for her charity. I would like to believe that love is spontaneous and you know when Cupid strikes. But this movie gives a different perspective. Often we spend so much time with somebody that we don't realize when we start loving them. Jamie and Landon had been with each other as acquaintances who met every day. They never felt the love that always existed. And when Jamie discovers her physical ailment, she doesn't say a word to her lover. This movie is such a treat!

Jamie's undying love and her whole-hearted faith in God and miracles make this movie/book special.

3.  Aisha in Wake Up Sid
This movie experiments with love in an unconventional way and that it what appeals to me most. It is Sid's story all through. But Aisha's love for Sid makes the movie so much more delightful. Aisha (Konkona Sen Sharma) aspires to be a writer and meets Sid, who is confused about making his mark in life. By being with Aisha, in an oblivious way, Sid wants to do things to make himself look important in her life. Aisha doesn't really pay attention to the much-younger Sid, probably because they meet every day. As they say, "Love does not know its depth until the last hour of separation'--- Aisha realizes she loves Sid when he is away from her. Her love is puerile but she doesn't know if she can even tell him as they were friends. Through an article in her magazine, Aisha reveals her feelings for Sid, never expecting anything in return.

Aisha's conviction, her love for Sid and how she rediscovers herself after realizing love-- make this movie meaningful.

4. Sara Thomas in Serendipity

This movie has been a personal favorite for as long as I can remember. I saw it first in 2003 and fell in love with it. The movie starts with a chance encounter. Sara Thomas (Kate Beckinsale) is a firm believer in destiny. When she meets Jonathan (John Cusack), they take an immense liking to each other. However, Sara wants fate to decide if they are meant to be together. So, when it is time for them to part ways, they don't share names or numbers. In a unique way, they write the details down in a book and a dollar note. Sara contends, if they are meant to meet some day, they will find each other through these signs (book and dollar) and come back to each other.

Sara's character, her relentless faith in destiny and signs is the highlight of this movie. Love is so unpredictable. But if love is true and people are meant to be with each other, they find their way back.

5. Zaara Hayaat Khan in Veer Zaara
This is a classic love story across the border. Indian guy falls in love with Pakistani girl. They meet just for 2 days and then get separated by fate. No matter how hard they try to find each other, they fail every time. Zaara (Preity Zinta) belongs to a conservative Muslim household. But so much is her love for Veer, that nobody can force her against her will. She waits for 22 long years to get united with her love. Veer's sacrifices are of course amazing. But here, I will only concentrate on the woman characters. Zaara pines for her love for years and wishes him well, never for a minute giving up on her unending wait.

Zaara's character is synonymous with love. She lives for love and if she dies, it will only be for love. The depth in the narration makes this movie a phenomenon.

There are few more characters that I have admired:
Anna Scott in Notting Hill, Mallika in Pathe Holo Deri (a Bengali blockbuster), Parineeta in Parineeta. I would pick Anna (Julia Roberts) for her simplicity and 'desire to be loved', Mallika (Suchitra Sen) for her 'loyalty' and 'passion', and Parineeta (Vidya Balan) for her 'perseverance' and 'belief in true love'.

I hope movieland continues to treat us with many more such wonderful characters who in some way or the other touch our lives.

The Quality of Mercy

 

The quality of mercy is not strained

It droppeth as a gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath

It is twice blessed, it blesseth him that gives and him that takes...

These lines from Portia's speech in Shakespeare's Merchant of Venice have been a personal favourite since Class IX I think, when I first read it as part of my school curriculum. Over the years, life has moved on, times have changed. And yet, for the last few days, these lines keep coming to my mind for god-knows-what reasons.

The speech was written centuries ago, but what a speech! Mercy, for one, cannot be forced on anyone. Is it not true? One can be merciful only if one wants to, not otherwise. You can pity someone, but to have mercy---would take a lot more. It would mean forgiving and forgetting.  

 At certain times in life, we are at a crossroads and face a situation where we need to choose pity or mercy. With pity, you deject the person who has wronged you. But the grudge remains. It is only mercy that can help you get over all hard feelings and forgive someone for his/her wrong-doings. And this is not true only in the case of a husband-wife or a love relationship. It can happen in friendship too.

Sometimes, we get to know a person and acknowledge friendship within moments. At other times, it may take years. And the choice between pity and mercy surfaces when you realize that the friend you considered second to none for over a decade lets you down at the drop of a hat! It is then that we need to decide---mercy or pity!
  
Tough and complicated I say... but what is life without these little twists in the tale?

So, whenever you are confronted with such complex philosophies, turn to nature and animals. They don't ask for mercy and you don't need to pity them.

They let you be and embrace you unconditionally.

 

Streaks of Madness?

Have you experienced this yet? Everyone at some point in life experiences streaks of madness. I cannot tell about the frequency though. In my case, I often come under attack and quite enjoy it. Sometimes, I get this runaway syndrome. Within minutes, I turn into this seriously impulsive person with variant streaks of madness.

At least, I am human enough to realize the madness and write about it. How many people can do that ;)?

I feel like giving it all up and heading to the Himalayas. Running through lush-green meadows (no, not only to bump into SRK!) till I reach the endless vastness of the sea--- that is one of my favorite dreams. I love nature I guess and appreciate the hues of green and blue and often shades of bright orange, fiery red and golden yellow. Sunflower would be a flower which instantly makes one smile and rose is one that can evoke emotions of love and pain at the same time. But of course, none of the colors would look so gorgeous had queen color white not complemented each of them. Sea waves without the white madness would be dull. Isn't it?

The reason I am writing all this?? Well., the runaway syndrome as I mentioned in the opening paragraph. The writing will have a disconnect, the mind will be set free, without any restraints or constraints anywhere. I realize I enjoy Neruda's poetry much more during these unannounced bouts of craziness. 

People sometimes mindlessly binge on junk food, ice-creams, chocolates et al. Not that they are always happy or depressed. They may have the 'streak of madness' in them. After all, not many people would think of jumping from a 32 floor building for sheer fun, and not be suicidal at all. They may not attempt it, but the thought will strike nevertheless.

Madness is best enjoyed when you have company. People who share the same passion for madness often do crazy things. The joy is doubled when you have company.

But again, there are people who put a break to your madness and bring you back to life. They come in the form of parents, spouses, children, friends, colleagues, and siblings. It is healthy to have such people around you who value a balanced life. They help you keep your checks and balances intact.

Having said all that, a roller-coaster life is still more fun. It is true that there are low-lows, but the high-highs are what make life worth living :). It is lovely to be on a high or feel tipsy without a drop of alchohol- to let your mind wander and dream all day without feeling guilty.

Simple joys of life like being by the sea, listening to the birds twitter, sensing the flowers breathe (try observing), soaking in music 24X7, or enjoying 'dogspeak' (language in which dogs communicate)---can refresh and pep-you up in no time.

The most precious things in life are for free. You just need to figure out a way to savour them.

Guzaarish… love is thy fate

I am not an active blogger... rather I am not a 'blogger' in the true sense of the term. I am more of a 'pen and paper' person and like to scribble notes in my diary and keep it for publishing in print for some book I plan to write some day.

However, there is some energy that tempted me to attempt writing a review of this 'oh-so-marvelous' movie Guzaarish. I am completely smitten by the movie in its totality. We often make a big deal about falling in love. But this film is all about 'rising in love' and 'diving into life'.

Sanjay Leela Bhansali hits the bull’s eye with this one after a bouncer of a Saawariya. Notwithstanding some forgettable loopholes in the movie as the drama unfolds, Bhansali creates ‘magic’. And he scores an ace with his debut as a music director too.

If you are thinking why you should watch Guzaarish when it may be a disturbing emotional drama, I would say it is the opposite. The life of a quadriplegic and the issue of ‘Euthanasia’ have been portrayed sensibly and sensitively. The narrative is tenderly woven with love and gives a different dimension to this weirdly worldly emotion.

Hrithik Roshan has lived up to his name yet again. Hrithik's acting, killer-looks, dialog delivery, dance moves—his overall screen presence will touch your heart, as if Ethan Mascarenhas is indeed Hrithik Roshan. And so far, critics who have maintained that in any movie, Hrithik outgrows the protagonist's character will have to revisit their stand now.

If someone plans to make a Hindi movie on Jesus Christ, Hrithik or John Abraham should be the obvious choices, I guess.

If Hrithik impressed all, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan has been the true 'surprise package' in Guzaarish. Ash did it with her expressions, her histrionics, and of course her divine looks. She was so believably incredible that I wondered if she is really in love with Hrithik!

Aishwarya sizzles gracefully in the song sequence 'Udi'. Sunidhi Chauhan's soulful rendition and Sofia’s performance, especially when she enacts the song, before doing the lip-sync is remarkable. And, though not a Rai admirer (before Guzaarish), I am sure no other actor could have done justice to this song but Aishwarya. As a kid, girls often have this huge crush on the mirror and like spending hours enacting song sequences in front of the mirror and admiring themselves ;). In this scene, Ash reminds me of those crazy, uncanny moments when we shed all inhibitions and emphasize on the child-like innocence within us. Ash performs with such ease and dexterity, that this scene becomes the ‘it’ moment of the movie... to me, at least.

At another level, Aditya Ray Kapur impresses again as the 'cute-boy-next-door'. Even the characterization of Shernaz Patel as Devyani is noteworthy.

Well, to sum it up then, if you have laughed, if you have cried, and if you have felt love while watching the movie, that is the true success of Guzaarish. Sofia loved and lost, but she loved nevertheless. Timeless, selfless love.

If I had the power, I would probably rename the movie as 'Mutthi bhar zindagi'. Please go watch Guzaarish now, if you haven’t already.